Darkness to Dialogue: Living Well With Mental Illness

  How Heightened Perception Shapes Mental Health Recovery The Quiet Power That Became a Burden I used to think I was just too sensitive. I’d notice the slightest shift in someone’s tone, a microexpression others dismissed, or tension in the room before anyone spoke. These cues meant everything to me because earlier in life, those small signals were early warnings of danger. One memory stands out vividly. When I was in maybe fourth or fifth grade, I went to a classmate’s house. Things started off fine, but I quickly began to feel uneasy. The house was dim, the blinds closed, and there was an odd heaviness in the air. At one point, the parent made a comment about my appearance in a way that felt uncomfortable. We spent a little time in her room, but soon I felt sick to my stomach. I wanted to leave, but I didn’t want to alarm my friend or have to explain why. So I tried to think of a subtle way out. I suggested we go for a walk, and when I saw another friend’s house nearby, I pr...

Looking Back, Moving Forward This month’s spotlight feature is Caralyn Dreyer, mental health recovery advocate, writer, and the sole creator and voice behind Darkness to Dialogue: Living Well with Mental Illness . Drawing from her own healing journey, Caralyn shares reflections, insights, and lessons from the first year of building this space for connection, compassion, and recovery. Celebrating a year of courage, connection, and the quiet power of healing together. The Journey So Far One year ago, Darkness to Dialogue launched as a space for honest conversations about mental health and recovery. In this founder’s letter, I share the lessons, challenges, and breakthroughs of the past year, and my vision for the next chapter of this community. A story of courage, connection, and the quiet power of healing. Looking Back: A Year of Healing Next month marks a deeply meaningful milestone, one year since Darkness to Dialogue first opened its doors. One year of honest conversations, vu...

Summary Sometimes, healing looks like an emotional shutdown, and it can feel like a sign of strength. But that numbness may be a detour, not a sign you’re doing better. In this post, you’ll learn how to tell whether you’re truly building resilience or just shutting your feelings off, and why it matters. Quick Insight Strength in recovery is about being emotionally present and processing what comes up. Numbness, although it may feel protective, is an emotional disconnection that can hinder true healing. My Story: When Feeling Nothing Seemed Like Something I remember the moment clearly: I thought I was "strong" because I didn’t cry at that old trigger, couldn't remember why it used to hurt me so much. Later, I realized I wasn’t strong; I was numb. I’d shut down to survive, and that numbness felt like peace…until it didn’t. Over time, I learned the real sign of strength wasn’t not crying, it was feeling and surviving the tears. I began noticing when I was processing emotions...

Summary  Have you ever felt fear quietly creep in, years after a painful experience, as if your body suddenly remembered before your mind did? That’s retrospective trauma, and that late-arriving fear often marks deeper recovery, not relapse. Quick Answer Retrospective trauma occurs when fear or distress surfaces long after the original trauma. Rather than being a setback, it can be a sign you’re finally safe enough to process what happened. Recognizing it as part of your healing journey empowers recovery, rather than derailing it. When Silence Speaks: Learning to Listen to the Fear That Shows Up Late In many recovery journeys, whether from PTSD, chronic anxiety, or deep mental health wounds, fear doesn’t always happen in the moment. It can show up later, sometimes years after the painful event. And that isn’t failure. It's healing. Symptoms might emerge as sudden panic, disturbing memories, or creeping dread. Instead of panicking, consider pausing. This isn’t a regression; it may b...

Patterns or Personality? How to Tell the Difference in Mental Health Recovery Estimated Read Time: 5 minutes Summary  When you’re healing from mental illness or trauma, it’s easy to confuse learned coping behaviors with your true personality. This post explains how to distinguish between patterns and traits, why this distinction is important, and how it can facilitate genuine change in your recovery journey. Key Takeaway Patterns are learned behaviors shaped by environment, trauma, or mental illness, while personality traits are more stable, biologically influenced tendencies. Recognizing the difference helps you change what’s changeable and embrace what’s authentically you. When I Thought My Patterns Were Me I used to believe my avoidance, people-pleasing, and overthinking were “just my personality.” Friends described me that way. But when I began my healing journey, I learned these weren’t my true nature, they were survival strategies I’d developed over years of stress and trauma...

Hey, you found your way here, and that already means something… This blog wasn’t created to give answers. It was created to offer language for the things most of us were never taught how to talk about, grief, trauma, healing, uncertainty, and all the in-between moments we don’t always share out loud. Darkness to Dialogue  is for anyone learning to live well with mental illness, not perfectly, just honestly. Below are a few questions people often ask about the blog and what it’s here to do. ❓ What is  Darkness to Dialogue ? It’s a blog about healing that doesn’t try to “fix” you. Here, you’ll find reflections on what it’s really like to live with mental illness—from the quiet victories to the hard days that don’t make it into highlight reels. The goal isn’t to be inspirational. The goal is to be real. ❓ Who is this blog for? This space is for anyone who’s ever felt like their story didn’t quite fit. If you’re navigating mental illness, recovering from trauma, or just trying to ...

  June/July 2025 Edition This month’s spotlight features Oscar, who generously shares, in his own words, the story of how his healing journey began. From a defining moment in solitary confinement to years of reflection, growth, and hard-won self-awareness, Oscar’s path reminds us that change can start in the most unexpected places. His voice is a powerful reminder that mental health recovery is possible, even when the odds feel impossible. I’m honored to share his story with you. What Led Me to Begin My Healing Journey In the year 2000, I was before a panel of people, a lieutenant, a sergeant, a case counselor assigned to me, and a therapist. They were going through my file detailing why I was in segregation. In the California prison system, it’s also called the hole. I was sent to the hole for a violent fight I was in with another guy inside of prison. At the time I was serving a double life sentence, I fell under the title of Juvenile lifer, which in my case at the time...