Darkness to Dialogue: Living Well With Mental Illness

    July/August 2025 Edition 🧭 Feature Spotlight: Joe Matulewicz From Darkness to Direction Author’s Note: This month’s feature was written by me, Caralyn Dreyer. I had the privilege of interviewing Joe and writing this piece based on our conversation. His story is shared here with his permission. The transition from military life to civilian reality is often painted as a proud homecoming, but for many veterans, it’s a quiet unraveling. Beneath the surface of structure, service, and strength, there can be confusion, loss of identity, and the haunting echo of unresolved battles. This month, we’re spotlighting someone who knows that terrain well. Joe’s story is one of honesty, resilience, and the ongoing work of redefining what it means to heal, not just for himself, but for the community he now serves. 🕯 Transitioning from the Military: Letting Go of Perfection Joe shared that adjusting to life after service came with unexpected emotional weight. The image of perfection, so i...

Summary Emotional alexithymia, a difficulty identifying and describing emotions, is a lesser-known but critical factor in men’s mental health , especially among those living with trauma and mental illness.  This post unpacks the science behind emotional alexithymia, its connection to trauma and socialization, and how healing begins with learning to recognize and name emotions. My Own Struggle to Name What I Feel For much of my life, I felt like I was swimming in emotional fog. I knew something was wrong, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on what it was. When people asked me how I felt: I often answered with vague words like “fine” or “okay,” even when my insides churned with something more complicated.  I thought maybe I was just closed off or didn’t care enough, but over time, I realized it was harder than that.  It was as if my mind had lost the words to name my feelings. So, what does this have to do with men's mental health? Well, watching men around me, family, frie...

Summary: Grief isn’t always about death. It can be the loss of identity, connection, or parts of ourselves we had to forsake to survive. Many men experience these silent losses, yet they go: unacknowledged unspoken unresolved.  In this post, we explore how unacknowledged grief impacts men’s mental health and recovery, and why naming it can be a profound act of healing. The Grief Beneath the Surface I’ve had conversations with men who never used the word “ grief ,” but I heard it in their tone, the deep ache behind their words, the subtle withdrawal. They didn’t speak of a deceased loved one, but of parts of themselves lost along the way: relationships that never flourished, opportunities they didn’t take, the version of themselves they might have been. I’ve witnessed the quiet ache of emotional numbness in men I care about, the kind that shows up not in breakdowns, but in the steady insistence that 'I’m fine' or 'Everything’s okay.' It’s in the distant eyes, the...