Darkness to Dialogue: Living Well With Mental Illness

Summary  Have you ever felt fear quietly creep in, years after a painful experience, as if your body suddenly remembered before your mind did? That’s retrospective trauma, and that late-arriving fear often marks deeper recovery, not relapse. Quick Answer Retrospective trauma occurs when fear or distress surfaces long after the original trauma. Rather than being a setback, it can be a sign you’re finally safe enough to process what happened. Recognizing it as part of your healing journey empowers recovery, rather than derailing it. When Silence Speaks: Learning to Listen to the Fear That Shows Up Late In many recovery journeys, whether from PTSD, chronic anxiety, or deep mental health wounds, fear doesn’t always happen in the moment. It can show up later, sometimes years after the painful event. And that isn’t failure. It's healing. Symptoms might emerge as sudden panic, disturbing memories, or creeping dread. Instead of panicking, consider pausing. This isn’t a regression; it may b...

Patterns or Personality? How to Tell the Difference in Mental Health Recovery Estimated Read Time: 5 minutes Summary  When you’re healing from mental illness or trauma, it’s easy to confuse learned coping behaviors with your true personality. This post explains how to distinguish between patterns and traits, why this distinction is important, and how it can facilitate genuine change in your recovery journey. Key Takeaway Patterns are learned behaviors shaped by environment, trauma, or mental illness, while personality traits are more stable, biologically influenced tendencies. Recognizing the difference helps you change what’s changeable and embrace what’s authentically you. When I Thought My Patterns Were Me I used to believe my avoidance, people-pleasing, and overthinking were “just my personality.” Friends described me that way. But when I began my healing journey, I learned these weren’t my true nature, they were survival strategies I’d developed over years of stress and trauma...

Hey, you found your way here, and that already means something… This blog wasn’t created to give answers. It was created to offer language for the things most of us were never taught how to talk about, grief, trauma, healing, uncertainty, and all the in-between moments we don’t always share out loud. Darkness to Dialogue  is for anyone learning to live well with mental illness, not perfectly, just honestly. Below are a few questions people often ask about the blog and what it’s here to do. ❓ What is  Darkness to Dialogue ? It’s a blog about healing that doesn’t try to “fix” you. Here, you’ll find reflections on what it’s really like to live with mental illness—from the quiet victories to the hard days that don’t make it into highlight reels. The goal isn’t to be inspirational. The goal is to be real. ❓ Who is this blog for? This space is for anyone who’s ever felt like their story didn’t quite fit. If you’re navigating mental illness, recovering from trauma, or just trying to ...

"The Untold Side" 2025 Summer/Quarterly Edition “The workplace often rewards the very behaviors that hide our suffering.” This investigative feature focuses on burnout and high-functioning depression in the workplace, a topic that aligns closely with The Untold Side's mission . These experiences are often: misunderstood minimized completely overlooked This can occur in professional environments where external productivity can mask deep internal struggles.  High-functioning depression doesn’t always “look like” depression, which makes it easier for both individuals and systems to ignore it, and harder for people to ask for help. By exploring how the pressure to perform can silence mental health challenges, especially among survivors and those in recovery, this feature highlights the critical gaps in how workplaces respond to emotional well-being . It asks difficult questions about what we reward, what we miss, and who gets left behind in conversations about wellness. Thes...

Summary Emotional alexithymia, a difficulty identifying and describing emotions, is a lesser-known but critical factor in men’s mental health , especially among those living with trauma and mental illness.  This post unpacks the science behind emotional alexithymia, its connection to trauma and socialization, and how healing begins with learning to recognize and name emotions. My Own Struggle to Name What I Feel For much of my life, I felt like I was swimming in emotional fog. I knew something was wrong, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on what it was. When people asked me how I felt: I often answered with vague words like “fine” or “okay,” even when my insides churned with something more complicated.  I thought maybe I was just closed off or didn’t care enough, but over time, I realized it was harder than that.  It was as if my mind had lost the words to name my feelings. So, what does this have to do with men's mental health? Well, watching men around me, family, frie...

Summary: Grief isn’t always about death. It can be the loss of identity, connection, or parts of ourselves we had to forsake to survive. Many men experience these silent losses, yet they go: unacknowledged unspoken unresolved.  In this post, we explore how unacknowledged grief impacts men’s mental health and recovery, and why naming it can be a profound act of healing. The Grief Beneath the Surface I’ve had conversations with men who never used the word “ grief ,” but I heard it in their tone, the deep ache behind their words, the subtle withdrawal. They didn’t speak of a deceased loved one, but of parts of themselves lost along the way: relationships that never flourished, opportunities they didn’t take, the version of themselves they might have been. I’ve witnessed the quiet ache of emotional numbness in men I care about, the kind that shows up not in breakdowns, but in the steady insistence that 'I’m fine' or 'Everything’s okay.' It’s in the distant eyes, the...

Trigger Warning: This article discusses sexual assault and its impact on mental health. If you are sensitive to this topic, please prioritize your well-being and engage with this content only if you feel safe doing so. My Journey: Reclaiming My Power After Trauma Surviving sexual assault shattered my sense of self in ways I never expected. In the aftermath, I carried not just the weight of the experience, but also the shame, fear, and isolation that often come with it. I struggled with anxiety that made it hard to trust others, depression that drained my motivation, and moments where I questioned whether healing was even possible. There were days when the trauma felt like a permanent part of me—an invisible wound that dictated my every move, thought, and relationship. But over time, I began to reclaim my power. Therapy helped me process the emotions I had buried for so long, and surrounding myself with people who supported me without judgment gave me the strength to keep going. I learn...