Struggling with Self-Care? Here’s How to Prioritize Your Mental Health (Even When It Feels Impossible)
There have been countless times in my life when I’ve found myself standing in front of a mirror, feeling completely drained, overwhelmed, and unsure of how to take the next step. The thought of practicing self-care seemed like an impossible task. I couldn’t even imagine taking a shower or preparing a healthy meal when the weight of depression and anxiety was hanging over me like a dark cloud.
My mind raced with negative thoughts: “How could I possibly care for myself when I can barely manage my emotions?” Yet, even in my darkest moments, I learned one important lesson: self-care doesn’t always look like what we expect it to. Sometimes, taking care of your mental health is simply about showing up, even when it feels hard. It’s about taking small, consistent steps forward, no matter how small they may seem.
Understanding Why Self-Care Feels Impossible
Self-care is often depicted as a luxurious spa day, a long walk in the park, or a relaxing bubble bath. These images can be motivating for some, but for those of us who struggle with mental illness, the idea of self-care can feel out of reach.
When you're battling depression, anxiety, or other mental health struggles, even the most basic tasks can feel like monumental hurdles. It’s not that we don’t want to care for ourselves; our mental and emotional energy is stretched thin, leaving us exhausted.
- Research shows that mental health conditions often make it challenging to engage in self-care. For instance, depression can lead to a lack of energy and motivation, both of which make self-care feel like an overwhelming task.
According to the American Psychological Association, individuals with depression may experience “anhedonia,” or the inability to experience pleasure, which diminishes the desire to engage in activities that would normally bring joy or satisfaction, including self-care activities.
1. Start with Tiny, Achievable Tasks
When self-care feels impossible, break it down into the smallest tasks possible:- If you can’t face the idea of a full shower, start with just washing your face.
- If cooking a meal feels too overwhelming, try preparing a simple snack.
These small acts of self-care might not seem like much, but they are victories in themselves. By taking the first step, no matter how small, you are showing yourself that you are worthy of care.
Evidence-based research supports the idea that starting small can lead to bigger changes:- setting small, achievable goals can help individuals manage mental health issues like depression and anxiety.
These small wins can promote self-efficacy, which is the belief in one's ability to succeed in specific situations. Achieving small tasks can boost confidence and motivate you to tackle larger challenges.
For example, I started with simple tasks like getting out of bed, drinking a glass of water, or taking a short walk. These actions didn’t immediately fix my mental state, but they helped me create a routine, and that made a huge difference. Sometimes, self-care is simply about showing up for yourself, even if that means taking things one tiny step at a time.
- If you can’t face the idea of a full shower, start with just washing your face.
- If cooking a meal feels too overwhelming, try preparing a simple snack.
- setting small, achievable goals can help individuals manage mental health issues like depression and anxiety.
2. Acknowledge Your Emotions Without Judgment
One of the hardest parts of mental health struggles is the shame that often accompanies it. We may feel like we’re failing at self-care because we can't do what society or social media portrays as “healthy.”
However, it’s important to recognize that your emotions are valid. You don't need to force yourself into a “happy” or “well” state to practice self-care. Acknowledging what you're feeling without judgment is a powerful form of self-care in itself.
- Individuals who practice self-compassion experience lower levels of depression, anxiety, and stress.
- Being kind to yourself, especially in moments of struggle, can reduce emotional pain and promote emotional healing.
When I felt overwhelmed, I began allowing myself to sit with my emotions instead of pushing them away. I’d acknowledge, “I’m feeling anxious today, and that’s okay.” I stopped expecting myself to always feel fine or to “fix” my emotions immediately. This act of self-compassion allowed me to be kinder to myself and take things at my own pace.
3. Practice Mindfulness, Even for a Few Minutes
Mindfulness is a powerful tool for managing stress and improving mental health. It doesn’t require hours of practice, and it’s a great way to start taking care of yourself, even when you’re struggling. You can practice mindfulness through simple breathing exercises, body scans, or paying attention to the present moment. You don’t need to meditate for long periods—just a few minutes can be enough to help ground yourself and calm your racing thoughts.
Studies show that mindfulness meditation can significantly reduce symptoms of:
- Depression
- Anxiety
- PTSD
When anxiety was at its peak for me, I’d use deep breathing exercises to help calm my mind. I would sit quietly for a few minutes, focusing on my breath and counting each inhale and exhale. It was simple, but it helped to center me when everything else felt chaotic.
4. Set Realistic Expectations
One of the biggest obstacles in practicing self-care when it feels impossible is the pressure to do everything “right.” We may feel like we need to make dramatic changes or follow a perfect routine, but that often leads to feelings of failure and frustration. Instead, set realistic expectations for yourself and understand that self-care will look different on any given day.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), one of the most well-researched therapeutic approaches for anxiety and depression, encourages individuals to challenge perfectionist thinking and set realistic goals. Researchers report that perfectionism is linked to higher rates of depression and anxiety. By lowering expectations and accepting imperfection, we allow ourselves the space to grow without adding unnecessary pressure.
- For example, one day, you might feel like you can do a full workout, while another day, you might only have the energy for a short walk. Both are valid, and both are forms of self-care.
Let go of the need to compare yourself to others or hold yourself to unrealistic standards. Self-care is a personal journey, and it’s okay to take it at your own pace.
- For example, one day, you might feel like you can do a full workout, while another day, you might only have the energy for a short walk. Both are valid, and both are forms of self-care.
5. Seek Support and Professional Help
Sometimes, taking care of your mental health requires more than just individual efforts. Reaching out to a therapist, counselor, or trusted friend can be a form of self-care in itself. - Asking for help doesn’t mean you’re failing; it means you’re taking steps to take care of your emotional well-being. Support is essential for mental health, and there is no shame in seeking it out.
Richard et al. (2022) found that individuals who participated in therapy or peer support groups experienced significant reductions in depression and anxiety symptoms. Having a support network and professional help can provide a sense of safety and relief when navigating mental health challenges.
Reaching out to my therapist and talking about my struggles relieved me. It reminded me that I wasn’t alone and that I didn’t have to carry the weight of everything alone. If self-care feels impossible on your own, don’t hesitate to lean on others who can help guide you.
- Asking for help doesn’t mean you’re failing; it means you’re taking steps to take care of your emotional well-being. Support is essential for mental health, and there is no shame in seeking it out.
Conclusion: Take Care of Yourself, One Small Step at a Time
When self-care feels impossible, remember that it’s okay to start small, be kind to yourself, and take things at your own pace. You don’t need to do everything perfectly. What matters most is that you’re showing up for yourself, even in the smallest of ways. Over time, these small steps will build a foundation of resilience and well-being, making it easier to navigate the challenges of mental health. You are worthy of care, even when it feels difficult to give it to yourself.
Take it one moment at a time, and remember—you’re not alone in this journey.
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Disclaimer: The information provided is for informational purposes only and should not be considered a substitute for professional advice. If you are struggling, it is important to seek help from a licensed mental health professional who can offer personalized guidance and support.
For more information about the topics discussed, consider visiting the following links:
2). https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9482966/
3). https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5679245/
4). https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/conditionsandtreatments/cognitive-behaviour-therapy
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