Darkness to Dialogue: Living Well With Mental Illness

"The Untold Side" 2025 Summer/Quarterly Edition “The workplace often rewards the very behaviors that hide our suffering.” This investigative feature focuses on burnout and high-functioning depression in the workplace, a topic that aligns closely with The Untold Side's mission . These experiences are often: misunderstood minimized completely overlooked This can occur in professional environments where external productivity can mask deep internal struggles.  High-functioning depression doesn’t always “look like” depression, which makes it easier for both individuals and systems to ignore it, and harder for people to ask for help. By exploring how the pressure to perform can silence mental health challenges, especially among survivors and those in recovery, this feature highlights the critical gaps in how workplaces respond to emotional well-being . It asks difficult questions about what we reward, what we miss, and who gets left behind in conversations about wellness. Thes...

Read Time:  6-7 Minutes Summary: Healing from trauma often pressures people to build emotional armor, but true recovery invites us back into emotional nuance :  being soft and strong loving and discerning open and protective, all without apology This post explores how reclaiming softness can deepen resilience and self-trust for those living with mental illness. Healing in the Gray: The Power of Complex Emotions As early as childhood, I was told I was “too sensitive.” Being soft was equated with being weak, overly emotional, or vulnerable in ways that made me unsafe. I pushed down my feelings, built walls, and tried to become harder to protect myself. But over time, I realized this hard shell wasn’t healing; it was a survival strategy that came at a cost. Now, I’m learning what it means to be soft without apology. It means embracing emotional complexity: feeling deeply without shame setting boundaries without guilt loving without losing myself It means I don’t have to shrink or...

Summary Emotional alexithymia, a difficulty identifying and describing emotions, is a lesser-known but critical factor in men’s mental health , especially among those living with trauma and mental illness.  This post unpacks the science behind emotional alexithymia, its connection to trauma and socialization, and how healing begins with learning to recognize and name emotions. My Own Struggle to Name What I Feel For much of my life, I felt like I was swimming in emotional fog. I knew something was wrong, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on what it was. When people asked me how I felt: I often answered with vague words like “fine” or “okay,” even when my insides churned with something more complicated.  I thought maybe I was just closed off or didn’t care enough, but over time, I realized it was harder than that.  It was as if my mind had lost the words to name my feelings. So, what does this have to do with men's mental health? Well, watching men around me, family, frie...

  Summary Surrender is often misunderstood as giving up, but in mental health recovery, it’s a powerful tool of acceptance and self-compassion. This post explores how surrender, letting go of control over what cannot be changed: reduces stress enhances emotional resilience supports sustainable healing  Drawing from psychological research and practical strategies, learn how adopting surrender can transform your recovery journey.  Learning to Let Go and Find Strength There have been many times when I found myself locked in a relentless internal battle. I fought my emotions, intrusive thoughts, and circumstances that at times were far beyond my control. Every attempt to push through felt exhausting and ultimately futile. I was pouring energy into resisting reality, and the harder I pushed, the heavier the weight felt on my shoulders. One day, amid this struggle, I realized that my fight against what I couldn’t change was actually holding me back. True progress didn’t c...

Summary: Grief isn’t always about death. It can be the loss of identity, connection, or parts of ourselves we had to forsake to survive. Many men experience these silent losses, yet they go: unacknowledged unspoken unresolved.  In this post, we explore how unacknowledged grief impacts men’s mental health and recovery, and why naming it can be a profound act of healing. The Grief Beneath the Surface I’ve had conversations with men who never used the word “ grief ,” but I heard it in their tone, the deep ache behind their words, the subtle withdrawal. They didn’t speak of a deceased loved one, but of parts of themselves lost along the way: relationships that never flourished, opportunities they didn’t take, the version of themselves they might have been. I’ve witnessed the quiet ache of emotional numbness in men I care about, the kind that shows up not in breakdowns, but in the steady insistence that 'I’m fine' or 'Everything’s okay.' It’s in the distant eyes, the...

  Each month, I shine a light on powerful voices that challenge the stigma around mental health by sharing honest, transformative journeys. This month’s feature explores the inner work it takes to move beyond survival and into healing. It’s not just about managing symptoms, it’s about awakening to the patterns we’ve inherited, the losses we’ve carried, and the truths we’ve buried. The following story offers a heartfelt look at how pain can be a turning point and how advocacy often begins with our own awakening. Carrying the Invisible Burden: A Mental Health Journey  Through Generational Trauma and Personal Loss Written By: Keisha Anderson   Mental Health Advocacy and Impact After experiencing a personal loss and working through the grieving process, I began to recognize  patterns and behaviors shaped by my upbringing-many of which were quietly keeping me stuck and  unfulfilled. That pain pushed me to seek deeper healing, beyond just coping. I turned to therapy,...

  Summary Recovery often means changing your patterns, but sometimes, it also means:  outgrowing people, roles, and spaces you once needed.  This post explores the quiet loneliness that can follow healing; when the chaos fades, but connection doesn’t immediately fill the space. It’s a compassionate look at how rebuilding life after mental health struggles can feel isolating and why finding belonging is a vital and worthy part of the journey. The Truth No One Tells You I never expected healing to feel so lonely. After years of living in survival mode, I assumed recovery would bring relief, reconnection, and peace. But what no one told me is that healing often creates a space, one where old relationships no longer fit, familiar habits fall away, and you're left sitting in the quiet.  Whether it was surviving toxic and abusive relationships or rebuilding after divorce, there were parts of my journey that I had to travel alone.  That quiet can feel like abandonmen...