Domestic Violence Awareness Month: More Than Bruises, Understanding Hidden Scars

Trigger Warning:

This post discusses domestic violence, including physical, emotional, and psychological abuse. It may be distressing for survivors. Please read with care. If you are in danger, call 911 or the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) — thehotline.org.

Domestic Violence Isn’t Just Physical: What Everyone Needs to Understand This Awareness Month

Summary

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. But awareness has to go deeper than purple ribbons and statistics. Abuse isn’t always visible. It can be emotional, financial, psychological, or digital — and its wounds often cut even deeper than physical harm. Survivors also face long-term mental health effects that are rarely discussed. By expanding how we understand domestic violence, we can better support survivors and take meaningful action beyond October.

Awareness Is Only the Beginning

When you hear the phrase domestic violence, what comes to mind? For many, it’s bruises, broken bones, or police reports. But here’s the reality: most abuse never leaves visible marks.

Every October, Domestic Violence Awareness Month (DVAM) invites us to remember survivors, honor those lost, and recommit to ending abuse. But ribbons and hashtags aren’t enough. Awareness must lead to understanding, and understanding must lead to action.

Abuse Is More Than Bruises

Domestic violence is about power and control. While physical violence is often the most visible, it is far from the only form. Survivors frequently endure abuse that hides in everyday interactions.

1. Emotional abuse: Gaslighting, humiliation, constant criticism, isolation.
2. Financial abuse: Restricting access to money, sabotaging work opportunities, and hiding resources.
3. Digital abuse: Monitoring texts and calls, stalking online activity, and harassment on social media.

“If you only look for bruises, you’ll miss the wounds that cut deepest.”

According to the CDC’s 2023 Intimate Partner Violence report, nearly half of women and men in the U.S. have experienced psychological aggression by an intimate partner. Yet emotional and financial abuse are still widely minimized.

The Mental Health Fallout No One Sees

Leaving an abusive relationship doesn’t end the trauma. For many survivors, that’s when the psychological impact comes into sharp focus.

Psychiatric research shows that survivors of intimate partner violence are at significantly increased risk of PTSD, depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts. Trauma from coercive control can alter a survivor’s sense of self, safety, and belonging.

Even after leaving, survivors may describe being “haunted” by what was done to them. Nightmares, hypervigilance, and shame can feel like permanent shadows. This is why mental health care must be integrated into domestic violence support; survival is not the same as healing.

When You Live With Mental Illness and Abuse

For survivors already managing mental illness, the impact of domestic violence can be especially isolating.

1. Stigma makes some fear they won’t be believed if they disclose abuse.
2. Abusers may weaponize diagnoses, calling survivors “crazy” to discredit them.
3. Treatment can be disrupted if an abuser controls access to therapy or medication.

“Survivors with mental illness don’t just fight for safety, they fight for credibility.”

Recognizing this intersection is critical. Survivors with chronic conditions like bipolar disorder, major depression, or schizophrenia need services that validate both their mental health needs and their experience of abuse.

Why Survivors Stay

One of the most common and damaging questions survivors hear is: “Why didn’t you just leave?” The reality is complex.

1. Leaving is often the most dangerous time. According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (2023), 75% of domestic violence–related homicides occur when or after a victim attempts to leave.
2. Financial dependence and lack of resources can make escape nearly impossible.
3. Fear for children’s safety or threats to loved ones keep many survivors trapped.

The question shouldn’t be why they stayed. It should be: what kept them from feeling safe enough to leave?

How to Support Survivors (Without Doing Harm)

If someone you care about discloses abuse, your response matters more than you realize. Well-intentioned advice like “just leave” can unintentionally create pressure and fear. Instead, focus on:

1. Listening without judgment. Survivors need validation more than advice.
2. Offering resources. Suggest the National Domestic Violence Hotline or local advocacy groups.
3. Respecting autonomy. The survivor knows their risk best.
4. Avoiding ultimatums. Safety must come before expectations.

“Support isn’t about saving survivors, it’s about standing beside them.”

Turning Awareness Into Action

Awareness is where we begin, but it cannot be where we end. This October, consider how you can move from awareness to real action:

1. Volunteer at a local domestic violence shelter.
2. Donate to organizations that provide housing, legal aid, and therapy.
3. Educate yourself and others about the full spectrum of abuse.
4. Advocate for policy change that strengthens survivor protections.
5. Commit year-round. Survivors need us in November, too.

Moving Forward: Beyond October

Domestic Violence Awareness Month shines a light, but real change requires that we keep carrying it forward. Abuse is not just bruises. It’s control, silence, shame, and fear. Survivors deserve to be seen in their full humanity, with their wounds acknowledged, their resilience honored, and their healing supported.

Awareness isn’t the finish line. It’s the first step toward justice, safety, and healing that lasts.

Further Reading & Resources

1. National Domestic Violence Hotline
2. CDC: Intimate Partner Violence

On the Blog

1. Understanding Depression After Trauma
2. What is Mental Healing

Thank you for stopping by! Until next time, remember that you are not alone in your feelings or experiences. I've got your back! For more updates:

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3. My podcast, Through The Darkness: A Mental Health Recovery Podcast, can be found by clicking here.

Disclaimer: The information provided is for informational purposes only and should not be considered a substitute for professional advice. If you are struggling, seeking help from a licensed mental health professional who can offer personalized guidance and support is important.

FAQ

Q: Why do survivors stay?

A: Survivors stay because leaving can be deadly. Fear, financial control, isolation, and threats keep many trapped. Safety planning is critical.

Q: Is emotional abuse really domestic violence?

A: Yes. Emotional, psychological, financial, and digital abuse are all recognized forms of domestic violence.

Q: What are the mental health effects of domestic violence?

A: Survivors may experience PTSD, depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts. These effects can last long after leaving.

Q: How can I support Domestic Violence Awareness Month?

A: Share resources, volunteer, donate, amplify survivor voices, and advocate for change.