Healing Isn’t Pretty: Why Grit Is Just as Important as Grace
“Healing isn’t about perfection. It’s about persistence. It’s about survival. And it’s about choosing yourself again, every single day.”
Summary
Healing is often pictured as peaceful and serene, but the truth is it can be raw, messy, and full of grit. Recovery requires both grace and grit: compassion for yourself and persistence when the path is hard.
My Healing Wasn’t Pretty, And That’s Okay
When I first began my healing journey, I imagined it as something graceful: long walks in nature, quiet reflection, and deep breaths in peaceful spaces. Sometimes it was like that. But more often, it was anything but.
Healing for me meant waking up to the same intrusive thoughts for the hundredth time. It meant dragging myself through days when even basic tasks felt monumental. It meant showing up even when I felt hollow.
Grace gave me permission to slow down, to breathe, to forgive myself. But grit? Grit was what kept me going when I had nothing left to give.
Healing wasn’t beautiful. In fact, it was often ugly. But it was real.
This is the truth that too many mental health conversations skip over. We speak of recovery as if it’s a gentle process, but healing, especially healing from trauma or chronic mental illness, is often gritty work.
The Science of Grit and Grace
Research shows that resilience and recovery depend on both persistence and self-compassion. Grit, the perseverance to continue despite challenges, is a predictor of better recovery outcomes (Duckworth & Gross, 2020). Grace, self-compassion, and kindness toward ourselves support emotional well-being and help prevent relapse (Neff & Germer, 2021).
Resilience is not built in comfort. It’s built in discomfort, in the willingness to face what feels unbearable (Bonanno, 2020). That’s why healing isn’t always a serene journey; sometimes it’s a gritty one.
“Grace softens the journey. Grit carries you through it. Together, they make recovery not perfect, but possible.”
Healing Isn’t a Spa Day, It’s Sweat and Survival
Mainstream wellness often sells us a romanticized version of healing: yoga mats, candlelight, and deep breathing. These moments matter, but they are not the whole story.
For many, healing looks more like:
-
Sitting with intrusive thoughts instead of avoiding them.
-
Getting through a day when exhaustion overwhelms you.
-
Choosing to attend therapy even when anxiety says “stay home.”
-
Taking medication even when it feels futile.
This is grit. It is not glamorous. It is persistence through the messy, uncomfortable, and raw moments.
What It Means for People Living With Mental Illness
The path of healing looks different for those living with depression, anxiety, PTSD, bipolar disorder, or chronic mental illness. Grace and grit become not just tools — but lifelines.
Grace: The Permission to Be Human
Grace is allowing yourself compassion when life doesn’t feel manageable. For people living with mental illness, this means:
-
Accepting rest without guilt.
-
Recognizing small steps as victories.
-
Seeing setbacks as part of the journey, not proof of failure.
Research supports this: self-compassion is linked to reduced depression and anxiety and improved emotional regulation (Lathren et al., 2021). Grace rewires how we meet pain, not with judgment, but with acceptance.
Grit: The Quiet Work of Persistence
Grit is endurance. For people with mental illness, grit might mean:
-
Taking medication every day without immediate change.
-
Attending therapy despite dread.
-
Continuing to show up for life when symptoms make survival a struggle.
Studies define grit as passion and perseverance for long-term goals, and recovery is exactly that kind of work (Duckworth, 2016). It’s showing up when it hurts.
“For people living with mental illness, grit is survival, and grace is the reminder that survival is enough.”
The Intersection of Grace and Grit in Recovery
Grace without grit risks passivity. Grit without grace risks burnout. Together, they form a balance that sustains healing.
Healing is not linear. For people living with mental illness, it may involve months of small steps forward and backward. Grace allows for self-forgiveness during relapse. Grit keeps you showing up anyway.
This combination transforms survival into a sustained journey of recovery, even when the work is sweaty, raw, and far from graceful.
The Research Behind Grit and Grace
Studies highlight that grit and grace work hand in hand in the healing process:
-
Resilience after trauma: Healing emerges not from avoiding hardship, but from engaging with it (Bonanno, 2020).
-
Better health outcomes: Grit predicts stronger recovery and coping abilities (Martin et al., 2025).
-
Self-compassion in recovery: Self-compassion lowers relapse risk and improves emotional regulation (Han & Kim, 2023).
-
Micro-recoveries matter: Small moments of persistence, breathing through anxiety or making a difficult phone call, have a measurable impact on recovery (ESPO, 2025).
These findings mirror what survivors know intuitively: healing is messy and requires persistence, but it is also deeply supported by self-compassion.
Key Takeaways
-
Healing isn’t always peaceful; sometimes it’s raw and messy.
-
Grit is persistence: showing up when it’s hard without ignoring your limits.
-
Grace is compassion: forgiving yourself when you stumble.
-
For people with mental illness, grit means survival, and grace means acceptance.
-
Together, grit and grace make recovery possible.
Choosing Grit and Grace Every Day
Healing is rarely tidy. It isn’t a straight path paved with peace and certainty. For many of us, especially those living with mental illness, healing is raw, unpredictable, and deeply personal. It is a journey filled with sweat, struggle, tears, and small victories.
That’s why grit and grace matter. Grit gives you the courage to keep going when everything inside says stop. Grace gives you permission to rest, to forgive yourself, and to honor your progress, even when it feels invisible.
The truth is, healing doesn’t have to be pretty. But it does have to be persistent. And it does require compassion.
So if you’re in the middle of your own healing journey, remember this: showing up for yourself is an act of grit. Loving yourself through it is an act of grace. Together, they are your greatest tools.
“Healing isn’t about perfection. It’s about persistence. It’s about survival. And it’s about choosing yourself again, every single day.”
Further Reading & Resources
-
Duckworth, A. L., & Gross, J. J. (2020). Self-control and grit: Related but separable determinants of success. Current Directions in Psychological Science.
-
Neff, K. D., & Germer, C. K. (2021). The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook: A Proven Way to Accept Yourself, Build Inner Strength, and Thrive. Guilford Press.
-
Bonanno, G. A. (2020). The End of Trauma: How the New Science of Resilience Is Changing How We Think About PTSD. Basic Books.
✨ On the Blog
Thank you for stopping by! Until next time, remember that you are not alone in your feelings or experiences. I've got your back! For more updates:
Disclaimer: The information provided is for informational purposes only and should not be considered a substitute for professional advice. If you are struggling, seeking help from a licensed mental health professional who can offer personalized guidance and support is important.
Q: Does healing always have to be “hard”?
A: No. There are moments of peace and joy in healing, but the hard, messy parts are just as real, and grit helps you through them.
Q: What’s the difference between grit and pushing too hard?
A: Grit is persistence balanced with compassion. Pushing too hard ignores your limits. Grit means resting when you need to and continuing when you can.
Q: How do I practice grit in daily recovery?
A: Start small: show up for yourself in little ways, celebrate micro-wins, and remind yourself that surviving hard moments is grit.
Q: Why is grace equally important?
A: Grace allows you to forgive yourself when you stumble. Without grace, grit can become harsh self-criticism instead of resilience.
Comments
Post a Comment
It is all about honest conversations here! Please be kind and courteous. I would love to hear your thoughts!
Be sure to check back soon because I do make an effort to reply to your comments here.